I can definitely recall a particular manager who was a frenemy character. Luckily I didn't trust her from the moment I met her so i had her at arms length straight away. I did witness others who suffered from the unpredictability of her, even her own boss.
I think you've given great advice on how to deal with a Frenemy!
Great instincts and I am glad you managed to keep them at arms’ length. Annoyingly, these characters show up in every workplace so being aware that they exist is an important first step
Such a well-written and approachable article, especially for a complex topic. Growing up in the world of M&A, I always thought of dyads (group of two) in terms of mathematics. Most relationships aim for 1+1=2. Anything less than 2 isn't worth the energy. But the real question became, how can we make 1+1=3... or more! This is huge piece of that puzzle, whether is people or firms, we should always aim higher!
Yep! I actually learned about this idea recently in the context of partnerships ie most people think a partnership is where a partner brings something equal to the table. But as you say, need to consider it more in the context of when partnered with someone good, the whole thing can 5x more than when one does something themselves. Same idea applies to relationships and M&A synergies.
I have such a personal story with frenemies. When people are inconsistent, it throws all chances of a rule book/code of conduct out the window! Every interaction is new and necessitates constant analysis and vigilance. I just cut a friend out for doing this to me and poured my heart out in my own substack
Thanks for sharing! I think we all we have personal stories involving frenemies.
I’m glad you managed to cut the person out and I think long term, you’ll be better for it. It’s a hard thing to do as frenemies aren’t overtly mean to think cutting out is required (but it sometimes is).
So well done on doing something that is quite challenging to do!
I can definitely recall a particular manager who was a frenemy character. Luckily I didn't trust her from the moment I met her so i had her at arms length straight away. I did witness others who suffered from the unpredictability of her, even her own boss.
I think you've given great advice on how to deal with a Frenemy!
Great instincts and I am glad you managed to keep them at arms’ length. Annoyingly, these characters show up in every workplace so being aware that they exist is an important first step
I dislike that I can relate to this! Appreciate your writing
Thanks! Frenemies appear to be an enduring part of corporate (and personal) life…
Such a well-written and approachable article, especially for a complex topic. Growing up in the world of M&A, I always thought of dyads (group of two) in terms of mathematics. Most relationships aim for 1+1=2. Anything less than 2 isn't worth the energy. But the real question became, how can we make 1+1=3... or more! This is huge piece of that puzzle, whether is people or firms, we should always aim higher!
Yep! I actually learned about this idea recently in the context of partnerships ie most people think a partnership is where a partner brings something equal to the table. But as you say, need to consider it more in the context of when partnered with someone good, the whole thing can 5x more than when one does something themselves. Same idea applies to relationships and M&A synergies.
I have such a personal story with frenemies. When people are inconsistent, it throws all chances of a rule book/code of conduct out the window! Every interaction is new and necessitates constant analysis and vigilance. I just cut a friend out for doing this to me and poured my heart out in my own substack
Thanks for sharing! I think we all we have personal stories involving frenemies.
I’m glad you managed to cut the person out and I think long term, you’ll be better for it. It’s a hard thing to do as frenemies aren’t overtly mean to think cutting out is required (but it sometimes is).
So well done on doing something that is quite challenging to do!