From Big Law to Big “WTF Am I Doing?” — Why I Started Fenix

I’ve spent years working in the world’s elite law firms. On paper, it all looked perfect. But behind the prestige was a quiet unravelling — and a wake-up call that led me here.

May 13, 2025

In third grade, I got in trouble for asking why — even after the lunch bell rang — we had to stand in line, waiting to be dismissed.

Five minutes stolen from freedom, disguised as order.

That curiosity — and my tendency to question the absurd — has followed me ever since. (Sometimes landing me in hot water.)

Years later, as a corporate lawyer in London, New York, and Sydney — at the so-called “top” firms (think Magic Circle and White Shoe law firms) — I found myself standing in a different kind of line.

A line for promotions, bonuses, bigger offices.

A line that promised success, wealth, and happiness... but often delivered something else entirely.

Behind the polished doors, snazzy offices, and five-star in-office cafes, I saw what success really looked like:

Brilliance overlooked.
Loud voices mistaken for leadership.
Six-figure salaries masking seven-figure miseries.

I watched colleagues chase promotions, titles, and pay rises — convinced happiness lived at the next milestone — but growing more restless, and less free, with every step forward.

Golden handcuffs. Platinum job titles. Same trap.

I also saw the flip side: “successful” people who couldn’t walk away from toxic clients, soulless jobs, or lives that didn’t fit — because their lifestyle demanded they keep running faster on the treadmill.

With hindsight, it was all so obvious:

I wasn’t building a secure future filled with lasting happiness.

I was building a cage.

The Questions “Success” Couldn’t Answer

It made me stop and ask questions — the same way I once questioned the lunch line in third grade.

What is real success?

What does financial security actually mean?

Why do so many smart, capable people end up stuck in lives they don’t even want?

It’s not because they aren’t working hard enough.

And it’s definitely not because they aren’t smart enough.

It’s because the system exploits our vulnerabilities. It trains us to compare, comply, and chase — rewarding short-term wins and status while quietly eroding long-term joy and freedom.

The tragedy? Most people don’t realise it until they’ve already traded their most valuable asset: time.

The Turning Point

Somewhere between document redlines, relentless client calls, and the never-ending “urgent” emails, I started to rethink everything.

Not just my career — but health, freedom, relationships, money… and what it actually means to live well.

I realised real wealth and freedom isn’t a postcode, a car, or a net worth you can flaunt.

It’s:

The ability to say no.
The freedom to choose how you spend your days.
The strength to walk away without clinging to a paycheck, a title, or anyone else’s approval.

It’s not just about making money.

It’s about building a life you don’t need a break from.

What Sparked ‘fenix’

That’s why I started writing under the pen name fenix — inspired by the phoenix, a symbol of resilience, of rising stronger from the ashes, and of questioning the rules we’re told to follow.

The purpose behind my writing is to help others navigate the insidious office dynamics — without losing their freedom, their joy, or themselves.

Here, I’ll share not just my experiences, but also insights that helped me:

Navigate my career.
Rethink what wealth and security really mean.
Think sharper and live healthier — mentally and physically —
all seasoned with a little wit and a lot of hard-earned lessons.

Some lessons come from spreadsheets.

Others, from screw-ups.

Most, from seeing behind the curtain — in industries where the smartest people were often the most financially (and emotionally) stuck.

And no — you don’t need to be a lawyer to get it.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in a life that looks good on paper but feels hollow in reality, this is for you.

This blog is for the dreamers stuck in jobs they’re told to be grateful for.

For the overachievers quietly wondering, “Is this it?”

For the version of me who once thought freedom had to be earned through burnout.

You’ll laugh. Maybe cry. But most of all — I hope you’ll feel seen.

What to Expect

1–2 articles each week — short, sharp, and designed to make you think differently about work, money, and the corporate illusion.
No BS. No fake gurus. Just the tools that actually worked for me — plus the occasional dry legal joke I haven’t managed to shake.

If that sounds like your kind of thing, hit Subscribe and join the ride.

Let’s build something better.
Somewhere, the third grader in me is still fighting for your lunch break.

You in?

Fenix